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Comparison is the Thief of Joy – Especially After a Stroke

Let’s just be honest here — it sucks.

7/10/20252 min read

man in orange long sleeve shirt sitting on gray couch
man in orange long sleeve shirt sitting on gray couch

You're doing 1:1 reps of a leg raise or writing the alphabet with a shaky hand while someone else is walking down the aisle, holding their baby, or giving a TED Talk. And you're scrolling through it all — weddings, baby showers, travel reels, award wins — trying to tell yourself not to compare, but you still do. Because how can you not?

Before stroke or brain injury, comparison was still there. You still looked sideways, wondering if you were doing enough, being enough. But now? Now it feels like your whole life has paused while everyone else hit fast-forward. And the guilt of feeling left behind gets tangled with the fatigue, the speech blocks, the pain, the appointments — and it's heavy.

But here’s the truth:

You are carrying something invisible to most people. Not just physical rehab, but emotional, cognitive, and social rehab too. Your entire being is rebuilding from the inside out. That’s not less than. That’s not failure. That’s a quiet kind of power.

💡 Comparison Will Happen — And That’s Okay

No one’s saying don’t feel it. Let it come. Let the jealousy and sadness pass through you. Because sometimes it is unfair. But don’t let it live in you. Don’t let it take up space that could be filled by healing, or rest, or laughter, or one more rep that brings your hand a millimeter closer to moving again.

Instead, use that comparison as a signal:

  • What are you missing?

  • What hurts the most to see?

  • And who are the people that lift you up, make you want to move, or remind you that joy is still here?

🤝 Turn Comparison into Connection

Maybe you can’t run marathons (yet). But you can form connections — with someone who gets it. With another survivor who’s learning to smile again. With a dancer who now grooves from a wheelchair. With someone who just wants to be seen.

And maybe — just maybe — you can channel that energy into something:

  • A poem.

  • A workout.

  • A playlist that lets you cry and then breathe again.

  • A DM to someone who made you feel less alone.

🌱 You’re Not Behind. You’re Just Healing Differently.

Life isn’t a race. And this recovery isn’t a detour — it is your path. Every finger flick, every stuttered sentence, every time you showed up for therapy when you wanted to stay under the covers — that is your milestone.

So yes, comparison will visit. But don’t let it unpack its bags.

Your joy isn’t gone — it’s just growing roots underground.

Tagline idea for the end of the blog:
💬 “It’s not about keeping up. It’s about keeping on.”